Dating Disasters

I attract everything I am not attracted to. I had a date tonight, the first one since the great relationship explosion of 2014. He seemed like a nice guy, smart, conversationally capable, handsome, employed, blah blah blah. The coffee was nice, the conversation was sparkling, the walk was calming, the kiss … left me wanting. And not in the good way. It was sloppy, it was desperate, it just wasn’t what I wanted. Then mofo got handsy. And wouldn’t let me get in my car to leave. Boy almost got a knee full of Six Shooter in his crotch. Making me raise my voice to tell you to STOP IT does not bode well for a second date.


I got home and relayed the conversation to my parents, who were on my side of the issue. Later, I was talking with Dad about men are stupid (he apologized on behalf of all men), then told me that I was being too general. “BOYS are stupid, MEN are okay … but just to be safe, don’t trust them. Don’t date them or kiss them or even look at them.” Oh, daddy-o, how I love you.


While I try to be patient, I am getting a little miffed that my partner in crime has not presented himself. I’ve dated plenty of duds, where is my stud?? Why can’t I find a tall, decent looking, smart, kind, educated, outdoorsy alpha male with good credit and nice teeth? WHERE ARE THEY HIDING??


Oh well, back to swimming in the dating pool and trying not to be grossed out by all the old guys in speedos.



Fairly Awkward







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